Walker Monroe's Birth Story

Ok, finally here it is! I’m just going to jump right in…

This was a crazy, awesome, lovely birth! I feel privileged to have had the experience. This labor was my first real personal experience with some of the doula techniques I have been using over this past summer with my doula clients and I must say, WOW! What we do helps so much! Haha! I am so blessed to have had my two wonderful “doula-mates”, Heather and Nancy, with me through this journey, and of course, very, very blessed to have had Matt alongside me, supporting me, as well.

November 6 was my actual due date. But October 31 was the projected due date from the ultrasound at 7 weeks. (We only had the one this time.) So, naturally, after Halloween, I kept wondering when labor was going to begin. I wasn’t anxious to not be pregnant; I just wondered when labor was going to sneak up on me. Do you know what I mean? It’s kind of like looking out the window a thousand times waiting to see your love come up the driveway. And nesting was in full swing. I mean I have never before prepared for a houseguest like I prepared for this baby! I think the reason for that is I knew how much I was not going to get accomplished after his arrival, because I would be too busy loving on my sweet ones and trying to rest. So Friday morning, I kind of thought I would go into labor. It was my grandmother’s birthday, and I thought it would be nice to have the baby then. (I keep saying “the baby” because we didn’t know the gender.) I didn’t. Well, actually, I did have a sign that labor was close, but not much contraction action. So Friday night, Matt was off work, so I used that time, as I had the entire month of October it seemed, to clean. I did not realize how disgusting my cabinets and walls were until that night. J I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned, including the kids’ bathroom. I got in bed around 10:30 and I immediately heard a huge thump that shook the house, which meant Jack had fallen out of bed. So I go and put him back in bed and realized he was soaking wet. So I took off his diaper (he is potty trained, just sometimes needs a diaper for night,) and changed him and tucked him back in. He didn’t even wake up. I took the diaper insert to the freshly cleaned bathroom and proceeded to dump the inside of the diaper in the potty. It’s made to flush down and then the other part is biodegradable, blah, blah, blah, anyway… I flushed the toilet with all that diaper stuff in it and of course, OF COURSE, it overflows. Gets everywhere. All those little gel diaper particles all over my clean floor, along with about an inch of water. Why am I telling you this, you ask? Well, number one, it’s my blog and I want to remember as many details as possible.  Also, I think the clean up of that huge mess possibly aided the labor to begin.

Saturday morning, I wake up with yet again, the sign that labor is near. I begin to clean up the rest of the mess in the bathroom. We thought the little gel pieces might be easier to remove if they dried a little bit. I notice contractions were definitely there, nothing painful, just there. I call Matt at work and tell him he might need to have a back-up plan for his shift on Sunday and possibly Monday. I didn’t know for sure that I was in labor. I just had that feeling. I told Matt I wasn’t sure if we would have a baby that night or the next day or even the next day, just that he should probably be prepared to not be at work. I texted my doulas just to give them a heads up and then I went on about the day. I think we went to Chick-fil-a probably. Ha!

That afternoon, Matt was off already, and the kids needed to get outside and play, so we met my doulas at Hamilton park, near our house with Heather’s little girl, (because Audrey and Jack love to play with her!) Nancy and Heather massaged my shoulders and neck and during the contractions some comfort measures, while I sat on my big yoga ball. My hips were not great at the end of the pregnancy, so I knew sitting on the ground or a hard bench would not be good. It was really fun being outside with everyone! The weather was beautiful, nice and sunny and bright! Contractions were there, but not steady. I was beginning to think baby would not be born this weekend. It was getting a little chilly, and I was getting hungry, so we left and I invited everyone to go eat at Betty’s. I had beef stew ready at home in the crock-pot, but I was craving a cheeseburger! Once we got to the restaurant and sat down, my contractions picked up and got a little more intense. Again, nothing really painful, but just noticeable and to where I wanted to breathe a little during them.

After dinner, Heather took her baby girl home, and Nancy came with me to the house. Matt and I bathed Audrey and Jack and put them to bed around 8:00. Nancy and Matt and I watched a movie after that because I wanted to get some oxytocin flowing by laughing. I thought maybe if I got to laughing pretty hard that maybe my water would just BREAK all of a sudden. See, I never had a spontaneous ROM, and I was actually kind of nervous about it. I don’t know why. I also figured once my water broke it would be game on, baby time. I was right about that, but I’ll get to that part. We watched The Family Stone. It is one of my favorite movies, but I didn’t laugh much. So, I watched the Office episode where Pam is in labor and has her baby. Oh, and by this time Heather had arrived with Matt’s Sbux drink. It was a full on labor party! I was loving it! Contractions were sporadic, so I thought I would get out the clary sage. I read in my essential oils book that it helps bring on contractions and also helps relieve pain and, for some, creates a mild euphoria. Well, that’s a no-brainer; I’m doing it! It really did help my contractions to become more regular. Heather and Nancy massaged my hand, feet, neck and shoulders, and would do hip squeezes. I had never felt that during labor and it shocked me how well they worked and took away the pain! (What doulas do really does work! Hahahaha!) After the episodes, I think Nancy suggested Matt start playing his guitar. So Matt started playing some worship songs, and I sang and so did Nancy and Heather. Well, this must have been a little loud, because Audrey woke up and came in and sang with us, too. This was about 10:00. She looked through my doula book and kept asking me to show her in the book what we were doing right that moment. That was pretty cute. Also, singing worship songs was wonderful, especially since I was surrounded with so much love and support and fellow believers. Then, maybe Nancy had reminded me that I had wanted to take a bath, so we drew up the largest tub of water that I have ever had for a bath, ha, so that I could be completely covered with the warm water. It was so relaxing. Heather had a tissue with clary sage on it and kept it in front of me so that contractions and pain relief would continue. I’m not sure at this point how far apart they were, maybe 3-6 minutes or so. It wasn’t that important, really. I knew I wasn’t near the end yet. Nancy and Audrey poured water over me and Nancy would periodically go get more hot water to keep the bath warm since our hot water heater didn’t have enough to fill the tub up all the way. I think at this point we sent Matt to bed. He had been up at 3 am that morning and needed to rest.

So, I was thinking through all of this that maybe I had progressed a good bit, not to transition, but you know, to a significant amount. Well, I was at 3 cm and the baby was still pretty high, and I was not very thinned out. This kind of took the wind out of my sails. It was about 1:15 am and so Nancy suggested we all go get some sleep. I told her they could go home if they wanted, but she said, no, they would stay right there. I said they could go because I felt like maybe I wasn’t even in “real” labor. Maybe I had gotten my signals crossed and I had just taken up everyone’s whole day and we weren’t even close to having a baby. Basically, I wasn’t trusting my body and started freaking out internally. Well, I stayed up a little with Audrey and then took her to bed with me so that she would fall asleep. I slept for about three hours and dreamed about contractions. I could actually feel them in my dreams, but I was still definitely asleep. I woke up about 3:30 am (it was 3 hours because of daylight savings time ending and giving us an extra hour,) and told Matt to take Audrey to her bed because she kept poking and kicking me and I couldn’t take it. So he did and when he came back to bed I was shaking all over and couldn’t stop. I was scared. I told Matt I didn’t think I could do this, meaning natural childbirth, and that I had only been 3 cm a few hours ago and if I was already that uncomfortable, what was it going to be like during transition and pushing out a baby. I started crying and said maybe I should just go to the hospital and get an epidural. Maybe I wasn’t strong enough. Matt got me some extra blankets to warm up my muscles so I could maybe stop shaking. And then he prayed over me and hugged and kissed me and reassured me that I could do it and that it was going to be ok, whatever happened. I am so grateful for him.

I finally stopped shaking enough to get up to go to the restroom. I heard footsteps and Nancy had come in to check on me. Apparently she and Heather’s “doula-senses” started going off because they both woke up about the same time I awoke. They just knew I needed them and that it was time to continue on laboring. I go into my living room and my contractions are about 30 seconds to 2 minutes apart. I’m swaying and squatting, still able to talk through them, but they were definitely intense. Nancy told us to call someone to come over to stay with the kids and she began getting her car ready with blankets, pillows, towels, etc., to transport me to the hospital. While she was doing that, Matt called some women from our church. Leah ended up already being awake, so she began to head on over. I told everyone I felt like I was about a 6, and sure enough, I was. I was totally ok with that! So I had gone from a 3 to a 6, with Walker a lot lower than before, while sleeping for the most part in about 3 hours! Yaay! I asked Matt to start playing the guitar again so we could sing some more. Singing really helped distract me and ease some of the pain. We hadn’t called Dr. J yet, and someone suggested we go ahead and do that since he likes to be in the know about his patients. It was about 4:30am, and I felt like we had some time, so I thought I would let him sleep a while longer. J

Labor is continuing, but contractions aren’t coming as frequently as they were when I woke up. Nancy and Heather and Matt all take turns massaging my back and hands and feet and swaying with me and helping me move around. The sun is coming up. I called Dr. J and woke him up at 5:59am. I told him we would have a baby today and to get his game face on. I bet he wondered why I was so chipper. I think I also called my parents at this point, too, and told them they could head up this way whenever they were ready. Anyway, contractions are getting annoying at this point. I have cuss words going through my head. Slowly the comfort measures aren’t comforting me much anymore. At one point Matt was helping me through a contraction and whatever he had done the contraction before that had helped suddenly did not help me and he said, “Well, what do you need me to do?” I said, “I don’t think there’s anything you can do for me at this point that will help.” And then the next moment he did a hip squeeze and kind of lifted me up and I said, “Well that worked.” All the ladies said, “Awwe, how sweet!” Haha. Sorry, I just had to add that moment in here. It was cute.

 

Around 7am, the kids are waking up. They eat breakfast and they are excited that they will have a new baby soon. Audrey is massaging me and brushing my hair and Jack just wants to cuddle and run around and play. I decide to lie down in the floor and cover up and rest for a while. This is not working out well with Jack. So we decide to get him ready for church and send him on with Leah. Nancy threw out the idea of having Audrey stay with us for the birth because she has been so involved so far. We had actually already considered that and asked Audrey what she wanted, and she decided to stay with us. So, I laid on the floor for a while, maybe half an hour or 45 minutes just kind of zoning out and focusing on my contractions. I said goodbye to my tearful Jack, which about broke my heart. I had Matt call Leah a while after that and she said he stopped crying as soon as they pulled out of the neighborhood. Praise the Lord for that. I’m so glad he was ok, and that he had Leah to take care of him.

Here’s where it gets a little foggy. I know that I stood up and then every time a contraction would come I would hit my knees or squat and try to find a “comfortable” position. This lasted for a little bit. I decided to go to the bathroom, which is always a good idea during labor to basically help your body relax and continue contractions effectively and basically clear the path and make more room for the baby to descend. I came back to the living room, and was laboring by the arm of our couch. I saw my parents pull up and considered having Matt tell them to just go drive around. I know my dad doesn’t do well watching me in pain. Well, Matt didn’t really understand what I was saying and they came inside. It was slightly awkward. Matt began making some coffee with my dad because dad was trying to stay out of the way. Suddenly, I felt something happen, maybe it was Walker dropping, I’m not sure, but it was time to go. I said, “Someone call Dr. J, it’s time to go to the hospital.” Well this sent everyone into action. Nancy and Heather were rushing around grabbing all of our stuff and situating Audrey. Matt was laboring with me here and there. I think it took about 10 minutes before everyone was ready to leave.

By this point, I was really unable to move. I walked about 10 feet and hit my knees and held onto a dining room chair and screamed through a huge contraction. Everyone around me was telling me to “Come on, let’s get in the car!”  “We have to go!” I’m thinking, “Do you not think I know that??” I was so mad that I had to move from that point, though. My entire body was telling me to stay put and birth my baby! I almost told my dad he better get out of the room because I was about to have the baby right there. I really didn’t think I could get up. But as the contraction passed, I started to stand up and Matt and Heather were on either side of me as I walked hunched over outside to the car. We made it to the carport and my water broke. (Yaay! It broke outside! Don’t know why I cared about that.) Here’s where I had my first real urge to push. They took me to the car and helped me into the back of Nancy’s hatchback. I was on my knees holding onto the passenger seat headrest. (I totally recommend this position for labor! J It was pretty comfortable.) Nancy was in the back with me, Matt drove. Heather drove her car and took Audrey with her.

I figured I would have a little time once I started having the urge to push. After all, it took me 3 hours with Audrey and 4 hours with Jack after I had the first urge with him. I wanted to be pushing by the time I got to the hospital. But as we exit the driveway, I’m thinking this is not going to be long. I don’t know exactly, but Matt said we made two turns out of the driveway and he heard me say, “I’m crowning!” Nancy said, “No, you’re not crowning…Yes, you’re crowing.” I don’t think she could see at first because I still had my leggings on and the baby was still coming down. I pushed maybe 2 more times and there was Walker! Nancy said, “Look at the time! See what time it is!” So Walker was born at 9:24 am right in front of 1^st Presbyterian, about 4-5 minutes after the first urge to push! We were about halfway to the hospital at this point. Matt called Dr. J, whom had just been talking to Heather. Matt said he said, “You just had the baby in the car, didn’t you?” Haha! Evidently, Heather had already filled him in on what she was seeing from her car behind us, (which was my behind!) It got quiet at this point because Nancy was wiping him off and getting him all clean and stimulated to cry. I asked her if it was a boy or girl, and she said she hadn’t seen yet and that I would be the one to announce it. I looked down and Nancy turned him slightly and I said, “It’s a boy!” I think after that I said, “I just had a baby in a car!”

People keep saying I just waited a little too long to leave. Actually, no, I don’t feel I did. I feel like God totally organized that to happen perfectly. I really wanted to have a homebirth. It didn’t work out for that to happen this time, for many reasons, one main one being Alabama’s law about not allowing midwives to attend homebirths. (Please check out http://www.alabamabirthcoalition.org/ to see why it is important to change this law.) So I got pretty close to having the birth I wanted. It was wonderful to be able to labor all at home, not have to lie in the thin foam bed and be hooked up to the monitors for 20 minutes upon arrival and every 15 minutes or so after that monitored with the Doppler and the blood pressure machine, as is standard, have my blood drawn during labor, etc. I understand the necessity for these things, I suppose, and a midwife would have monitored me during labor as well, but I’m just saying it was great to not have to do those things. I am so thankful for our health and safety!

We pulled up in the hospital parking lot and Dr. J met us outside. We were all giddy and so happy! Dr. J picked Walker and me up and put us into the wheelchair to take us inside. It was cold that day, but I could not feel it. I was on such a high. It was a beautiful day, an awesome labor, and an awesome delivery. I am so thankful to my doulas, Nancy, Heather, (and Audrey!), and to Matt for supporting me and surrounding me with love. I am thankful to Leah for helping us out with the kids, and all the ladies from our church, really, for their servants’ hearts. I am thankful for Dr. J for being the best OB I could ask for, and his sweet family, and all the sacrifices they make for the community. I am thankful for Walker, thankful to my Jesus for once again blessing our family with this beautiful child, and for walking with me through the labor and birth.

Thanks for reading my birth story. Sorry it was a book!