Everything has happened all at once. ha.
There has been so much going on in my life in the past month. It has been crazy. I have learned a lot and I am still going through some things now that are hard to deal with. People have tried to bring doubt to my decisions, but I have faith they're the right ones. One of them was a job decision that I've been putting off for a while, hoping things would get better. And I've had to step out on faith that I was following God's will. I usually go with my gut, but I've had really no "feeling" and I just had to trust that God hears my prayers and is guiding me. I saw some things happen at work that I thought were ethically skewed, and no one was speaking up about it. I just couldn't let it rest. I feel like I can actually make a difference and I don't want to just let it lie because I don't want to "stir up anything", or because people might turn it around on me. Shouldn't I still stand up for what I believe in, even in the face of adversity, or even if people will try to twist my story and make me look bad? I want to make a stand for what is right, and I feel that stand means leaving. (They don't really notice or appreciate you until you turn in your notice, as I have seen this week.) And I don't want my leaving to go unnoticed or without meaning.
Also, I've been physically drained lately. I've had TMJ problems (which besides some popping in my jaw, has never really affected me until now,) and allergy/sinus/cold stuff that has just made me not want to talk to anyone after I get off work. (Poor Matt.) Needless to say, I'm ready for things to slow down again. Apparently, I'm not that great with change. (I totally cried when Matt moved in my apartment because he was "changing things too much", and also when we moved into our house because things were "too small, and different than my apartment." Silliness, I know, but I just was dealing with a lot, and that's how it came out! ha.)
I knew all of this was coming. Well, not all of this, but I knew that God was about to test me. I came back from that week that I wrote about in the last blog, and I was so thankful for where God had me in life. I realized I had been taking my life for granted and I wanted to be more positive and grateful. And as I was thinking about all of this, God brought it to my mind, "Would you be this happy if things weren't as good as they are now? If things got harder for you, would you still be thankful?" And right then, I knew. And also, I happened to read Job, which hello, is a book about adversity. :) Luckily, I have not had to face anything that drastic. And I will say that during all of the craziness, I'm sure I wasn't as thankful as I should be, but I did always know that God was right there beside me. I knew He was in control. That's a good feeling. Praise be to Him!
Anyway, if you read this, please keep me and Matt in your prayers. We need it! And also, know that I'm thankful for you.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Do Unto Others...(I know, right?? haha)
Luke 6:27-36 -Love your Enemies
27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
These verses really just stopped me today. I've been dealing with how my attitude should be toward a person that just has blatent disregard for my feelings or anyone else's really. I had to spend a lot of time with this person this past week and it just slapped me in the face how I thought that this person was my friend, when really that has obviously NEVER been the case. I don't want to be a doormat. But I do want to be meek and loving. And to be honest, I have not reacted that way (at least in my mind and talking to others I haven't.) I realize there is a time for anger, and I feel like my anger was just. I mean, I wasn't the only one that was being affected, or afflicted, by this person. But now, that time has passed. I want to be different. I want to actually serve MY Lord. I want His opinion to be the most important and I want to please Him with my actions and reactions. I realize that even some of my close Christian friends/family would tell me to write the relationship off, that it's not worth my time and it's just going to bring me heartache and drama. (I hate that kind of drama, you know.) But I really think that I should just step it up. Not seek approval from this person for my own benefit, which is what I think the other people in their life are doing, but to actually invest in them because Jesus loves them and commands me to. Just like it says above, even sinners love their own friends, so what kinds of witness is that? I mean, that's not really challenging. Loving your enemies takes His grace and His love in our hearts. I realize as I write this that it is going to be really hard for me to step out of my comfort zone. I don't really want to ever talk to this person again. And I might have to say some things that will definitely not make me a popular person in their eyes, and I will probably get talked about behind my back, and be made to look like a hypocrite. Or I might just have to be there for this person and just shower them with love in the name of Christ.
Wow, this is difficult. I really need your prayers to do the right thing. I know myself. And I'll talk about this and then I'll just "do nothing." Just let it blow right past me and then no harm will come, but no good will either. Opinions on this would be appreciated. Thanks for listening (reading :)
27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
These verses really just stopped me today. I've been dealing with how my attitude should be toward a person that just has blatent disregard for my feelings or anyone else's really. I had to spend a lot of time with this person this past week and it just slapped me in the face how I thought that this person was my friend, when really that has obviously NEVER been the case. I don't want to be a doormat. But I do want to be meek and loving. And to be honest, I have not reacted that way (at least in my mind and talking to others I haven't.) I realize there is a time for anger, and I feel like my anger was just. I mean, I wasn't the only one that was being affected, or afflicted, by this person. But now, that time has passed. I want to be different. I want to actually serve MY Lord. I want His opinion to be the most important and I want to please Him with my actions and reactions. I realize that even some of my close Christian friends/family would tell me to write the relationship off, that it's not worth my time and it's just going to bring me heartache and drama. (I hate that kind of drama, you know.) But I really think that I should just step it up. Not seek approval from this person for my own benefit, which is what I think the other people in their life are doing, but to actually invest in them because Jesus loves them and commands me to. Just like it says above, even sinners love their own friends, so what kinds of witness is that? I mean, that's not really challenging. Loving your enemies takes His grace and His love in our hearts. I realize as I write this that it is going to be really hard for me to step out of my comfort zone. I don't really want to ever talk to this person again. And I might have to say some things that will definitely not make me a popular person in their eyes, and I will probably get talked about behind my back, and be made to look like a hypocrite. Or I might just have to be there for this person and just shower them with love in the name of Christ.
Wow, this is difficult. I really need your prayers to do the right thing. I know myself. And I'll talk about this and then I'll just "do nothing." Just let it blow right past me and then no harm will come, but no good will either. Opinions on this would be appreciated. Thanks for listening (reading :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)