Everything has happened all at once. ha.
There has been so much going on in my life in the past month. It has been crazy. I have learned a lot and I am still going through some things now that are hard to deal with. People have tried to bring doubt to my decisions, but I have faith they're the right ones. One of them was a job decision that I've been putting off for a while, hoping things would get better. And I've had to step out on faith that I was following God's will. I usually go with my gut, but I've had really no "feeling" and I just had to trust that God hears my prayers and is guiding me. I saw some things happen at work that I thought were ethically skewed, and no one was speaking up about it. I just couldn't let it rest. I feel like I can actually make a difference and I don't want to just let it lie because I don't want to "stir up anything", or because people might turn it around on me. Shouldn't I still stand up for what I believe in, even in the face of adversity, or even if people will try to twist my story and make me look bad? I want to make a stand for what is right, and I feel that stand means leaving. (They don't really notice or appreciate you until you turn in your notice, as I have seen this week.) And I don't want my leaving to go unnoticed or without meaning.
Also, I've been physically drained lately. I've had TMJ problems (which besides some popping in my jaw, has never really affected me until now,) and allergy/sinus/cold stuff that has just made me not want to talk to anyone after I get off work. (Poor Matt.) Needless to say, I'm ready for things to slow down again. Apparently, I'm not that great with change. (I totally cried when Matt moved in my apartment because he was "changing things too much", and also when we moved into our house because things were "too small, and different than my apartment." Silliness, I know, but I just was dealing with a lot, and that's how it came out! ha.)
I knew all of this was coming. Well, not all of this, but I knew that God was about to test me. I came back from that week that I wrote about in the last blog, and I was so thankful for where God had me in life. I realized I had been taking my life for granted and I wanted to be more positive and grateful. And as I was thinking about all of this, God brought it to my mind, "Would you be this happy if things weren't as good as they are now? If things got harder for you, would you still be thankful?" And right then, I knew. And also, I happened to read Job, which hello, is a book about adversity. :) Luckily, I have not had to face anything that drastic. And I will say that during all of the craziness, I'm sure I wasn't as thankful as I should be, but I did always know that God was right there beside me. I knew He was in control. That's a good feeling. Praise be to Him!
Anyway, if you read this, please keep me and Matt in your prayers. We need it! And also, know that I'm thankful for you.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Do Unto Others...(I know, right?? haha)
Luke 6:27-36 -Love your Enemies
27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
These verses really just stopped me today. I've been dealing with how my attitude should be toward a person that just has blatent disregard for my feelings or anyone else's really. I had to spend a lot of time with this person this past week and it just slapped me in the face how I thought that this person was my friend, when really that has obviously NEVER been the case. I don't want to be a doormat. But I do want to be meek and loving. And to be honest, I have not reacted that way (at least in my mind and talking to others I haven't.) I realize there is a time for anger, and I feel like my anger was just. I mean, I wasn't the only one that was being affected, or afflicted, by this person. But now, that time has passed. I want to be different. I want to actually serve MY Lord. I want His opinion to be the most important and I want to please Him with my actions and reactions. I realize that even some of my close Christian friends/family would tell me to write the relationship off, that it's not worth my time and it's just going to bring me heartache and drama. (I hate that kind of drama, you know.) But I really think that I should just step it up. Not seek approval from this person for my own benefit, which is what I think the other people in their life are doing, but to actually invest in them because Jesus loves them and commands me to. Just like it says above, even sinners love their own friends, so what kinds of witness is that? I mean, that's not really challenging. Loving your enemies takes His grace and His love in our hearts. I realize as I write this that it is going to be really hard for me to step out of my comfort zone. I don't really want to ever talk to this person again. And I might have to say some things that will definitely not make me a popular person in their eyes, and I will probably get talked about behind my back, and be made to look like a hypocrite. Or I might just have to be there for this person and just shower them with love in the name of Christ.
Wow, this is difficult. I really need your prayers to do the right thing. I know myself. And I'll talk about this and then I'll just "do nothing." Just let it blow right past me and then no harm will come, but no good will either. Opinions on this would be appreciated. Thanks for listening (reading :)
27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
These verses really just stopped me today. I've been dealing with how my attitude should be toward a person that just has blatent disregard for my feelings or anyone else's really. I had to spend a lot of time with this person this past week and it just slapped me in the face how I thought that this person was my friend, when really that has obviously NEVER been the case. I don't want to be a doormat. But I do want to be meek and loving. And to be honest, I have not reacted that way (at least in my mind and talking to others I haven't.) I realize there is a time for anger, and I feel like my anger was just. I mean, I wasn't the only one that was being affected, or afflicted, by this person. But now, that time has passed. I want to be different. I want to actually serve MY Lord. I want His opinion to be the most important and I want to please Him with my actions and reactions. I realize that even some of my close Christian friends/family would tell me to write the relationship off, that it's not worth my time and it's just going to bring me heartache and drama. (I hate that kind of drama, you know.) But I really think that I should just step it up. Not seek approval from this person for my own benefit, which is what I think the other people in their life are doing, but to actually invest in them because Jesus loves them and commands me to. Just like it says above, even sinners love their own friends, so what kinds of witness is that? I mean, that's not really challenging. Loving your enemies takes His grace and His love in our hearts. I realize as I write this that it is going to be really hard for me to step out of my comfort zone. I don't really want to ever talk to this person again. And I might have to say some things that will definitely not make me a popular person in their eyes, and I will probably get talked about behind my back, and be made to look like a hypocrite. Or I might just have to be there for this person and just shower them with love in the name of Christ.
Wow, this is difficult. I really need your prayers to do the right thing. I know myself. And I'll talk about this and then I'll just "do nothing." Just let it blow right past me and then no harm will come, but no good will either. Opinions on this would be appreciated. Thanks for listening (reading :)
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Personality Tests
If you're interested in this type of thing, I added my personality link on the side here, so you can find out more about me and also, you can go and take this test yourself. Please share with me what your results were, if you want. I LOVE this type of thing. (And Eleanor, if you're reading, I know we actually did this at the office, so I know you'll like it.)
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Just a Word
Just giving you an update. And something to read. I really don't have something profound that has struck me lately. So I'll just tell you a lot of things I've been thinking about.
First off, Matt and I are praying about being involved in a new church plant. It's not something I've ever really thought of doing. I suppose I always imagined finding a church and going to it and serving in it...done. But the minister from our wedding and some others that we know have been researching and praying and really feel led to begin a new church. Not that they, or I, have anything against already established churches, but some of the research they have found shows that more people are reached through developing churches. I don't really know why. We talked about it Sunday, and maybe it's because churches sometimes lose their fire for reaching those that need Jesus, or reaching out to the poor in the community, or being commited to diversity within the body of the church. But I don't think all churches are like that, or else I wouldn't want to plant a new one and just become what "old" churches are now. But maybe some just get bogged down with everyday life issues, like budget or even soemthing more innocent, like just ministering to their own congregation. And there is a time and a place for everything, but we also have to keep in the back of our mind that our greatest concern should be loving others around us and continuing to reach out to spread the gospel.
These verses scare me:
Matthew 24 : 9-13 :
9"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.
I don't want to be cold in my love. I don't want to turn away from my faith, or even cause another to turn away. I really feel like I need to be stronger if I am to face these things, or to even prepare my family to face these things. I don't know when the end will be, but I also don't want to just live like I will never see the end.
And secondly...I have to go to Lakeshore to work, so I gotta go!
GO VOTE!!! WOO HOO!
First off, Matt and I are praying about being involved in a new church plant. It's not something I've ever really thought of doing. I suppose I always imagined finding a church and going to it and serving in it...done. But the minister from our wedding and some others that we know have been researching and praying and really feel led to begin a new church. Not that they, or I, have anything against already established churches, but some of the research they have found shows that more people are reached through developing churches. I don't really know why. We talked about it Sunday, and maybe it's because churches sometimes lose their fire for reaching those that need Jesus, or reaching out to the poor in the community, or being commited to diversity within the body of the church. But I don't think all churches are like that, or else I wouldn't want to plant a new one and just become what "old" churches are now. But maybe some just get bogged down with everyday life issues, like budget or even soemthing more innocent, like just ministering to their own congregation. And there is a time and a place for everything, but we also have to keep in the back of our mind that our greatest concern should be loving others around us and continuing to reach out to spread the gospel.
These verses scare me:
Matthew 24 : 9-13 :
9"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.
I don't want to be cold in my love. I don't want to turn away from my faith, or even cause another to turn away. I really feel like I need to be stronger if I am to face these things, or to even prepare my family to face these things. I don't know when the end will be, but I also don't want to just live like I will never see the end.
And secondly...I have to go to Lakeshore to work, so I gotta go!
GO VOTE!!! WOO HOO!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
In death, there shall be life in Him
I know no one really reads my blog. :) So maybe I really just post for my own benefit. I like to get my feelings out. But if someone does read this, I just want it to remind you to pray for the Burgess family. Remind you how short life is. Remind you that we are not only earthly beings, we are spiritual creatures, created by God. And in God's sovereignty, He has a bigger plan for us that we may not understand. His grace is sufficient and it's just amazing how He cradles His children in the midst of their pain. I don't even realize just how present He is in my life sometimes. I take His grace for granted. But I know I would never be able to make it without Him. If you are reading this and you want to experience God personally, you want to know what people are talking about when they talk about their Savior and how He took them from a life of darkness and sin, you can know. These aren't just cliches that people use for crutches to make hard times easier or as an excuse for their wrongdoings. God is real and Jesus Christ, His Son, is the only way. He is Truth and He is Love. Please listen to the calling that is in your heart. God wants you as His child. He wants to share His kingdom with you. Accept Him, let go of your sin, and you will know all of these things are real and you will see them in your life.
Again, remember to pray for Rick and Sheri Burgess and their 4 children, as they're dealing with the loss of their 2 year old son.
Again, remember to pray for Rick and Sheri Burgess and their 4 children, as they're dealing with the loss of their 2 year old son.
Friday, January 18, 2008
BoNnArOo!!!
Can I just say that if LED ZEPPELIN is stinkin coming to this festival that is so close to my sweet Alabama home, I am THERE BABY!!!
Bobby P,
If you're reading this, please, please, Please consider adding another US spot to your tour. It would mean a great deal to your fans here in Yank-ville.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
~C
Bobby P,
If you're reading this, please, please, Please consider adding another US spot to your tour. It would mean a great deal to your fans here in Yank-ville.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
~C
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Everything is Upside Down
Everything is so confusing right now. I don't know exactly where I'm supposed to be, and how I'm supposed to act. I think God's trying to teach me humilty or something. Trying to teach me that it's not always right to be right. This is hard for me to deal with. I have always tried to defend others, strive for clarity, strive for others to understand each other and understand me. Apparently, this is impossible sometimes. And the fact that I know someone is wrong and doesn't care bothers me so much, but it seems like I'm just supposed to let it go and not try to do anything about it. I mean, I know that you can go to people (in love) and talk about sin that you see them living in. But some things are in that gray area. You try to get someone to see your point, but they're so far to their side, they can't grasp yours. Or it's so gray that neither point seems really right.
I know I'm probably going around in circles. It feels like my head is, right now. And maybe as I'm writing this, some of you are thinking, "well, duh." And maybe it's just an easy lesson I should've learned a long time ago. I need prayer. And if any of you would like to share anything about this with me, PLEASE, feel free. Although, I can't say that it won't make my head spin even more.
I don't want to force my opinions. I don't want to be an agressive, domineering, dramatic girl that nags people, attacks people, and argues all the time with others. And I don't want to be stuck in a personal rut, and not be reactive to God's moving. And I definitely don't want to make God have to tell me over and over until something much more severe has to happen to get my attention. I am thankful that God is showing me some discipline, because that means He hasn't given up on me in my "lukewarm-ness"! :)
I think God's trying to teach me love.
Hmmm...
~C
I know I'm probably going around in circles. It feels like my head is, right now. And maybe as I'm writing this, some of you are thinking, "well, duh." And maybe it's just an easy lesson I should've learned a long time ago. I need prayer. And if any of you would like to share anything about this with me, PLEASE, feel free. Although, I can't say that it won't make my head spin even more.
I don't want to force my opinions. I don't want to be an agressive, domineering, dramatic girl that nags people, attacks people, and argues all the time with others. And I don't want to be stuck in a personal rut, and not be reactive to God's moving. And I definitely don't want to make God have to tell me over and over until something much more severe has to happen to get my attention. I am thankful that God is showing me some discipline, because that means He hasn't given up on me in my "lukewarm-ness"! :)
I think God's trying to teach me love.
Hmmm...
~C
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